Note: It's not my intention to hurt or offend anyone. I just want to say here how I felt about it and what's my take on it. Whenever I would say "their place" it would also mean my papa's current residing place or my childhood place. "Our place" means the place where I currently resides now that I'm a married woman.
The event happened yesterday.
The unexpected call came around one in the afternoon from someone whom I considered has a good way of dealing people or has a nice PR and she is very consistent of it. She had invited us (I assumed) a family dinner.A feast for their younger sibling. Coming from her, I instantly didn't hesitate to half-answered her yes even though I know it will be a great effort on our part. My partner is in the city while I'm here in this far flung place. I had to asked papa to drive us from here to their place, my childhood place, using his vehicle. I just had to be the one to pay for the gasoline expenses since the place is really far. It's like from end to end location. Take note that papa has just arrived from his place to our place. So imagine when he has to drive us from our place to their place on the same day. It's literally going back and forth.
It made me think now what was the main reason why I didn't hesitate to go there when normally I would decline considering my baby in tow and that their place is significantly far from us and that it was a night time affair. I believe the answer is the appreciation in response to the invitation. The reason of the feast isn't usual and that I don't like to do to them what I don't like them to do to me. I'm really disappointed when I'm preparing something and that your expected guests can't come for lame reasons. Worst is when they would inform you, just hours after when you're expecting them to come, that they can't make it. That's why I really believe in RSVP. So, it wasn't really for the banquet. I can eat those foods whenever I want. Just a side note, the weather wasn't cooperative considering I had to bring our eight months old baby but again, I deeply appreciated the invitation. The whole family went there.
As expected since it was a rush hour, we were stuck in traffic. My baby has fallen asleep so it was a good thing since he's being hyper (I think) is getting unmanageable. We arrived just in time for the usual dinner time. Before we could get inside their house, I was told not to say or ask anything. I actually wasn't able to comprehend the exact words I heard but I understood that they were up to something to surprise the celebrant. Little did I know that, that would be the reason of the delay of the dinner.
The foreigner, the celebrant's brother-in-law, was already there. I believe waiting also for the dinner to start. The foods were already waiting to be gobbled. I think the foreigner didn't know the reason of his waiting. Later on I learned that he made a comment that he would just go to sleep without eating (maybe he could no longer wait). While we were also waiting, our baby was acquainting himself of the place and the people. There were signs of his stranger and place anxiety behavior but he was able to managed it later. Since it has been a while already, mama informed me that she would go to our home (my premarital home - my home before I got married). My sister, my nephew, my baby and I decided to stay and wait there. To passed the time, my nephew played with his second degree cousin while my baby enjoyed watching them. Sometime I assisted my baby in his little walking here and there. It seems that he was already okay with the place. He was already smiling and back to his normal self. Time flied so fast and it was already almost an hour since we arrived and it was time for my baby to take his medication. So we informed her (the one who personally called me for the invitation) that we'll go to our home (premarital home).
In our home (my premarital home), I just realized that I was already hungry and the rest of the family echoed the same sentiments. It was already an hour and a half since we arrived and still our tummy were empty. It has reached the point where I decided that when my partner would arrive (we agreed that he would just come to the dinner after his work) we'll just eat in a fast food then head back to our place. However, my partner didn't arrive until later. On the other hand, I got my cellphone to check if my partner called me. I found missed calls from the dinner host and from my partner. But I just can't assume that we were already called for the dinner just because of that missed call (from the host). So we waited for a few minutes and discussed about the situation we were in. We were saying like, they couldn't have surprised the celebrant because the doer are also celebrants like her and they probably are also celebrating.
I realized that now we were just treated as a sideline guests. So this really bothered me. If my partner arrived on that moment of deliberation, I think we would have walked out already. I wouldn't care what they would say. They treated us unfairly. Didn't they realized that we came all the way from our place to their place at that time of the night with my baby in tow?
Fifteen or twenty minutes later our land line phone rang for the waited-dinner. I really wasn't able to contain myself. I blurted out to the host (the one who invited us) our predicament but still with a light mood. She said that she had been calling my cellphone and that she was also hungry already. But she just called a few minutes after we went out of their house, hence still the same damage. Minutes later she was in our doorstep, sort of escorting us back to their place. I think she was touched by my true, unpretentious statements that made her got us personally when she could've been just contented by my mere saying "yes" in our land line phone conversation.
As I had already expected, my baby had again his stranger anxiety. There were too many people, the place was again new to him and that strangers would want to get hold of him. Mama, papa and Josh were already busy getting their food, so somehow they were not in his sight, hence he felt alone and felt left in all those strange faces. Next thing, he was already hysterically crying. It didn't comfort him to see me nor my mama (his mamala) within his reach. I think it was the environment. So I went back to our home (premarital home) and in there he mellowed and stopped crying. A while after, mama arrived with a platter of food for me. Few minutes after his papa arrived. He requested that I get him also a platter of food. So I did.
After eating, we prepared ourselves to went home. I bid adieu to the the hosts, said our thank you and congratulated the celebrant as my baby and I passed by their house. Just a few steps to where our car was parked, the host (the one who invited me) called me up and gave me a jar of fruit salad. (I always emphasized "the one who invited me" because I think it was her and her siblings who contributed to all the expenses incurred for that dinner. It could be that the one who contributed the most has the say to all instructions.) She said that she really set the fruit salad aside, for me. I told her that I really appreciated it and it was really nice of her. As always, she was really consistent of her personality. Or it could be her way to amend for the recent unlikely event that happened? Anyway, of all her siblings, I think she's the best cousin I got.
I couldn't blame nor question them if dinner was allowed to be eat late but they couldn't blame me also for writing this and if in case worst happened, for going back to our place and just eat in the fast food outside. We were really extremely hungry already. I don't know if there'll be next time. All I know now is that, what happened was an unforgettable and an undesirable experience.
The event happened yesterday.
The unexpected call came around one in the afternoon from someone whom I considered has a good way of dealing people or has a nice PR and she is very consistent of it. She had invited us (I assumed) a family dinner.A feast for their younger sibling. Coming from her, I instantly didn't hesitate to half-answered her yes even though I know it will be a great effort on our part. My partner is in the city while I'm here in this far flung place. I had to asked papa to drive us from here to their place, my childhood place, using his vehicle. I just had to be the one to pay for the gasoline expenses since the place is really far. It's like from end to end location. Take note that papa has just arrived from his place to our place. So imagine when he has to drive us from our place to their place on the same day. It's literally going back and forth.
It made me think now what was the main reason why I didn't hesitate to go there when normally I would decline considering my baby in tow and that their place is significantly far from us and that it was a night time affair. I believe the answer is the appreciation in response to the invitation. The reason of the feast isn't usual and that I don't like to do to them what I don't like them to do to me. I'm really disappointed when I'm preparing something and that your expected guests can't come for lame reasons. Worst is when they would inform you, just hours after when you're expecting them to come, that they can't make it. That's why I really believe in RSVP. So, it wasn't really for the banquet. I can eat those foods whenever I want. Just a side note, the weather wasn't cooperative considering I had to bring our eight months old baby but again, I deeply appreciated the invitation. The whole family went there.
As expected since it was a rush hour, we were stuck in traffic. My baby has fallen asleep so it was a good thing since he's being hyper (I think) is getting unmanageable. We arrived just in time for the usual dinner time. Before we could get inside their house, I was told not to say or ask anything. I actually wasn't able to comprehend the exact words I heard but I understood that they were up to something to surprise the celebrant. Little did I know that, that would be the reason of the delay of the dinner.
The foreigner, the celebrant's brother-in-law, was already there. I believe waiting also for the dinner to start. The foods were already waiting to be gobbled. I think the foreigner didn't know the reason of his waiting. Later on I learned that he made a comment that he would just go to sleep without eating (maybe he could no longer wait). While we were also waiting, our baby was acquainting himself of the place and the people. There were signs of his stranger and place anxiety behavior but he was able to managed it later. Since it has been a while already, mama informed me that she would go to our home (my premarital home - my home before I got married). My sister, my nephew, my baby and I decided to stay and wait there. To passed the time, my nephew played with his second degree cousin while my baby enjoyed watching them. Sometime I assisted my baby in his little walking here and there. It seems that he was already okay with the place. He was already smiling and back to his normal self. Time flied so fast and it was already almost an hour since we arrived and it was time for my baby to take his medication. So we informed her (the one who personally called me for the invitation) that we'll go to our home (premarital home).
In our home (my premarital home), I just realized that I was already hungry and the rest of the family echoed the same sentiments. It was already an hour and a half since we arrived and still our tummy were empty. It has reached the point where I decided that when my partner would arrive (we agreed that he would just come to the dinner after his work) we'll just eat in a fast food then head back to our place. However, my partner didn't arrive until later. On the other hand, I got my cellphone to check if my partner called me. I found missed calls from the dinner host and from my partner. But I just can't assume that we were already called for the dinner just because of that missed call (from the host). So we waited for a few minutes and discussed about the situation we were in. We were saying like, they couldn't have surprised the celebrant because the doer are also celebrants like her and they probably are also celebrating.
I realized that now we were just treated as a sideline guests. So this really bothered me. If my partner arrived on that moment of deliberation, I think we would have walked out already. I wouldn't care what they would say. They treated us unfairly. Didn't they realized that we came all the way from our place to their place at that time of the night with my baby in tow?
Fifteen or twenty minutes later our land line phone rang for the waited-dinner. I really wasn't able to contain myself. I blurted out to the host (the one who invited us) our predicament but still with a light mood. She said that she had been calling my cellphone and that she was also hungry already. But she just called a few minutes after we went out of their house, hence still the same damage. Minutes later she was in our doorstep, sort of escorting us back to their place. I think she was touched by my true, unpretentious statements that made her got us personally when she could've been just contented by my mere saying "yes" in our land line phone conversation.
As I had already expected, my baby had again his stranger anxiety. There were too many people, the place was again new to him and that strangers would want to get hold of him. Mama, papa and Josh were already busy getting their food, so somehow they were not in his sight, hence he felt alone and felt left in all those strange faces. Next thing, he was already hysterically crying. It didn't comfort him to see me nor my mama (his mamala) within his reach. I think it was the environment. So I went back to our home (premarital home) and in there he mellowed and stopped crying. A while after, mama arrived with a platter of food for me. Few minutes after his papa arrived. He requested that I get him also a platter of food. So I did.
After eating, we prepared ourselves to went home. I bid adieu to the the hosts, said our thank you and congratulated the celebrant as my baby and I passed by their house. Just a few steps to where our car was parked, the host (the one who invited me) called me up and gave me a jar of fruit salad. (I always emphasized "the one who invited me" because I think it was her and her siblings who contributed to all the expenses incurred for that dinner. It could be that the one who contributed the most has the say to all instructions.) She said that she really set the fruit salad aside, for me. I told her that I really appreciated it and it was really nice of her. As always, she was really consistent of her personality. Or it could be her way to amend for the recent unlikely event that happened? Anyway, of all her siblings, I think she's the best cousin I got.
I couldn't blame nor question them if dinner was allowed to be eat late but they couldn't blame me also for writing this and if in case worst happened, for going back to our place and just eat in the fast food outside. We were really extremely hungry already. I don't know if there'll be next time. All I know now is that, what happened was an unforgettable and an undesirable experience.
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