Jaiden's Buwan ng Wika

Nights before this morning, we were so excited to see our little boy's first-on-stage performance. He showed us his few steps of dance in front of us. He was so amusing to look at. Though in the past few days as they got serious in their practice, he would complained by saying "don't like to go to school?", meaning he was no longer excited to go to school which was a deviation from his normal mood every time he woke up. In fact yesterday after our daily tour of him (riding in our car) around the subdivision before we go to work, he had a few seconds of hide and seek when his yaya fetched him to have his bath because again he didn't want to take and bath because he didn't want to go to school.  We managed to ignore his pleas. Somehow he went through his school dry run practice yesterday without a problem.

However, this morning, when his papa and I arrived in his school he started whining and chanting "don't like?", just the same complain and he got this worried look in his face. At this moment, deep inside, I had a bad feeling of Jaiden's mood.

 We found his teacher Ivy and he took hold of him to let him join his classmates who were already forming their line, waiting for their turn to present. For about ten minutes Jaiden was out of my sight (by this time, the crowd is getting thicker). I searched his face in several line of boys' heads but I failed. Until I saw his teacher holding a boy's hand who seemed to also searched for somebody and then our eyes met. He was actually holding Jaiden's hand and I realized that she was actually looking for me. I then saw Jaiden's whining face. So I went to them. His teacher asked me to have Jaiden for a while to ease up his feelings and just get back when Jaiden would be okay.

In a few minutes, the program started with a doxology with student performers. The mic and the background sound were so loud. Then my dreaded anticipation happened. Jaiden started to cry slowly and then there it went, so loud. He literally cried so loud with his eyes closed. He was so helpless that my also helpless consolation gestures didn't work. I texted hubby to come over to us hoping he might help alleviate the situation. However, Jaiden got worse crying over his shoulder. During this time, still the loud sound of the program engulfed us. We felt the need to stay away from the place to calm him. 

We found the farthest classroom. We comforted him there and his cry gradually subsided in just a few minutes and stopped. It was right there and then that we realized that Jaiden would surely not perform. So I went to his teacher to inform which initially didn't accept the fact. She said to let him calm but I told her how hysterical Jaiden was. So I didn't give her any false hope.

Going back to our comfort zone, I just took what was left of us to do. It was too early for us to went home anyway. 

We have to have at least souvenir pics of Jaiden's attire which his papa bought from Kultura in SM.

In below pics, his papa played with him and from time to time lured him in going out of the classroom just in case he would feel comfortable of himself and would join his classmates that were still waiting to perform. But Jaiden was wised enough. He never went out of the classroom instead enjoyed himself running around inside.

However, when their folk dance tune was played, he at least showed us this..........

Realizing that he was dancing to their dance tune, we immediately recorded his performance. At least even if he wasn't on the stage, we still saw him dance somehow.

I think it was the unexpected or not used to thick crowd, the loudness of the mic of the emcees and the loudness of the performers' tune that cowed Jaiden to perform. I hope next time, he would do better. For the meantime, I gave him the excuse of still being a three-year-old child.

I love you my son! Your mama and papa will forever by your side to support you in all your endeavors. 'Till your next performance, my son!!!

Moving On

Once my friend told me, that according to her favorite actress, that "you have to be alarmed if you're already too comfortable in your zone because it means that you're no longer learning".  As I understood it, it's one of her reason why she decided to work here in Cebu in spite of her father's protest. The saying stayed in my mind.

It seems surreal that I'm almost two months of my new adventure. It has been such a goal and determination to be in it which I would admit that once I was in there, it was really hard, especially at the start. I was on the verge of entertaining the thought of giving up but then I realized that it was probably too early yet to surrender. Maybe because it had been such a long time that I forgot how was it being pressured. But then, I consoled myself by asking, "isn't this what I wanted?"Am I not living what I had been praying?

I believe it's a normal thing to want more in life. Although money is always the determining factor but in my case, it's not. I felt the need to be challenged, to be of self-worthy, to be needed, to achieve something daily, to spend more time with my family on weekends and  much more is to be there for my son when there's a call for it.

To achieve our want and being in there is to strive hard to cope up with the new challenges that comes with it. It's like jumping on another bridge and trying to calm down the movement you have created wherein possibilities of rejection is inevitable. You're balancing things and get to be acquainted with the new environment.

I don't think that everything in this world comes easy. You always have to work hard to get your want until again you reached the point of your comfort zone and then it goes on and on because LIFE is just simply ROUND.

Time To Let Go

When I met you,
          I immediately fell in love with you,
But I was having second thoughts,
         because you were too high, my usual.
So I put  you down, slept over, deliberated,
        until I decided.

You were very supportive in my everyday struggles.
Whenever I was in tough roads or in slippery paths,
        you uphold me with much comfort.
In fact, I believe you made me feel at ease
        when at times I was confused whether to believe them.
Indeed, the saying was true when my doctor said so when I was expecting.
So I never regretted having you.

Last night, I had made some of my biggest decision in life.
It has been four years of you supporting me, comforting me,
         while at the same time, elevating me and made me look descent.
But you're no longer the brand new that I fell in love with.

Lately, more than two instances that I almost slide walking.
I felt a little pain wearing you.
Your facade showed some discoloration,
          even your heels posed a threat of wreckage.
Things in this world aren't really meant to last.

Time to let you go now my beloved,
          Rusty Lopez shoes!
You cost me two grands
          but it was worth it.

Now I would say,
I love you, goodbye!

     
         

Excel 101: Down Mood

I'm kind of feeling down right now...don't know how to ease it. I want to cry, I want to be comforted...  do you sometimes feel like you want to do something or there's something you like to do but can't actually figure out what is it? In short, your just totally confused, probably lost. Though I know "lost" is such a heavy word to put it.

I think it has got to do with my goal today. I'm setting myself to finish this but for some reasons because there are just people who aren't that adept with the use of Excel, the work is slowed. You give this instruction or goal but you're just torn because you still have to train the person how to filter, how to format the cells to date setting, et al. Haaiisstt..... even how to print preview or to set up the settings before you print the file, the person can't deliver it! gosh!!! "maboang ko!" I still have to do "Excel 101" lessons huh!his is my term when I still have to teach the basic of Excel. Well, in fairness to them, it's not really their fault. Then who's fault could it be? The school?

I'm just probably so pressured to deliver our group task, that I haven't fully grasp the instruction of my boss. So, I think it's one of the reason why I feel low though not "so low". Going home at 7 to your waiting hubby and sweet little boy somehow lightens up my mood a bit.

Well, "going home at 7" is I believe one of those factor. I just wanted to go home early when I just couldn't because there are just some people that I can't understand why aren't they conscious of the time. Is it probably because they're use to "offer time" (their term when they work beyond office time without overtime pay) that they do their work late when it could have been done earlier? Don't they mind those people who are affected that still have something to do after office time? To put it short basically, there's something I like to happen that didn't happen because she said "she doesn't know what to reason" - this is the downiest thing to end your work for the day when you're just too tired to extend.

To recall:
*Not able to meet my goal for the day because Excel 101, slows down the pacing.
*Somebody is just too inefficient in their job that resulted to my "unwelcomed-unexpected-offertime". I already did "offertime" the other night but just this night I should have gone home early because I felt I was already unproductive because my mind was just so stressed and disappointed.  

On the other hand, this is what I realized when it keeps on coming on my head the statement "di jd ta kapasar ani sa ISO bah!" - I can only say, "hire competent people to pass the standard".

Everything Happens for A Reason

Dedicated to Camille Prats Linsangan

Everthing happens for a reason. This was what my boss told me when I once talked to her about my difficulty of impregnation. I have already considered this as one of my quotes in life and ever since I have always believe in it.

I'm inspired to write the following article even though I know it's already very late because I think I can't let this pass because I feel it's one of those that fits "Everything Happens for a Reason".

Having read the latest story about the demise of Camille Prat's husband, it immediately came to my mind why Camille got pregnant too early of her life and eventually got married. I can still remember that her mother really cried (nanghihinayang) upon learning that she was pregnant. There was still a plan for Camille to study abroad but unexpectedly circumstances lead her to a detour.

Certainly only God knows why there are unexpected and mostly unlikely things happened in our lives. It has been said that God must have other plans.

Just like Camille's, God must have wanted her husband to experience one of the great things in life and that is to have a lovely family. They just found out about her husband's illness three months after their wedding. So even for just the remaining period of her husband's life, he had her and their son by his side in all his struggles. But indeed, only God knows everything and the reason it happened.

RIP Anthony Linsangan

What Jaiden Said

One of the little joy and surprises in life is when you hear your baby utter words or syllables. The feeling of joy is different. A simple word pronouncement or anything you least expect to hear from him is like a big deal of a story ringing in your ears and if not that too much, you want the whole world to know.

Just last week, my father commented that he was amazed by his apo's (grandson) brilliancy when he heard him spoke the word "rain". Indeed it rained that very moment when he heard him uttered the word. Mama and I were elated upon learning about it because without me knowing just like what I usually do, mama sings to our baby Jaiden the song Rain Rain Go Away every time it rains. In fact when we sang it that night even though there was no rain he automatically wanted to go near the window to look for the rain outside. Now, that's awesome! Isn't it nice to know that your baby learned the word "rain"? 

Yesterday, when his papa wore on his t-shirt (getting ready for work) with an embroidered letters "adidas" in front of it, me carrying him facing his papa, he playfully pointed to the letter "a" before the letter "s" of the brand name "adidas" and uttered "ey". At that moment, we were really caught by surprise and immediately cheered on him. Wooaahhh!!! our baby spoke of letter "a" of the alphabet! Now obviously that was one of those good things in our lives that started our days.

p/s Our baby is 1yr. and 2 mos. old.

What Jaiden Did (2)

This is my second time around writing about Jaiden's actions/mind developments. My title has an enclosed no.2 because my first writing was the Shoe Incident. I was supposed to write this last night. Because it happened supposed to be yesterday (if I was able to write this down last night) but now it's already the other day, September 6, 2011. Jaiden had his two good sets of sleep yesterday, a more than an hour in the morning and a more than two hours in the afternoon. So last night he had lots of energy to drain. The antihistamine of having him his 1ml of Allerta med for his runny nose-allergy didn't seem to put him to bed early. He was so energetic, bouncing in our bed here and there, running to and fro and sometimes founding himself watching intently (our regular night time) the youtube-learning-videos very close to my laptop's monitor to the extent of tinkering the keyboards because he couldn't control his excitement. I think one also of the reason was that his cousin Kuya Josh was around with him, playing and watching with him the videos. So, he finally went to sleep around an hour before midnight. Haaayyy! how could you have the extra energy to write this down? By my intro itself it's already long! hahahahha!!! This is what I told you, spontaneous writing! So much for my intro, let me start writing my very reason of inserting this in my good sleep.

This will be in no particular order because all these were just told by my mother. Again, it happened the other day, September 6, 2011. Let me remind you that Jaiden is now one year and two months old. :)

1) He slept very long in the morning, from 10 to past 12. Within that sleep it's impossible that he made it into a straight sleep. He must had have awaken himself from time to time because it was just obviously a nap. Mama told me that he did and she was surprised of him getting up, picking up his bottled water, lying back in bed and putting it  in his mouth, drinking. Then he went back to sleep. Good thing mama wasn't able to cover tightly his bottled water. So, he managed to got up and drink on his own. Other than drinking his milk, Jaiden regularly drinks water. Now, tending to his body needs - wasn't that amazing?

2) Papa, his grandpa, was doing something very important but stopped himself when his cellphone rang. It appeared on the screen of his phone that my mama was calling him. So, he answered his phone immediately thinking it was an emergency call. To his surprise (when he finally answered) nobody answered on the phone but a mere blank or hanging. He could hear my mama's voice on the background, but not talking to him . Later on, a baby talk made an answer. Haahahhahah!!!! It was our baby Jaiden calling him! Jaiden must had accidentally pressed my papa's cellphone number resulting to that call. Wasn't that funny? Mama's load was all used up!

3) Jaiden has this behavior of hiding or inserting anything on his hand he found interesting in a tight places - tiny horizontal opening he thinks a good place to insert something. His favorite was the small space in between our fridge's basement stand and the floor (this is what I mean horizontal opening or space in between). All my hubby's collectible magnetic maps of US (during his travel there) where I bet in there. Even Josh's Pogs are also there. One time my mama was looking for the Jollibee magnetic calendar. I told her that it was very sure its underneath the fridge. And indeed, it was there. So the other day, Jaiden managed to get mostly all the silver-metallic screw covering of the glass below-side-part of our cabinet-divider in our sala. He put it all again underneath our fridge. Mama, old already to bend on the floor to see underneath (the fridge) and get it, just tolerated it to be there. However, I told her that night right then and there when she told me of the incident that it must be get because other than the uncovered screws are pointed, there would be possibilities that the the glass walls will fall when the screws are loose. It would be very hazardous and we wouldn't want that for sure to happen. So, mama did get the screw-covering underneath. hehehhheeh...

So, just until here for now. I hope to have the time in the near future to put into black and white all Jaiden's surprising baby actions. Now, I don't know if I can still go back to sleep.